If you were to really know me, you’d know I love surrounding myself with playful, high energy, cheeky friends who don’t take life too seriously. We make having a good time a priority. But, what I most appreciate is that they also know how to have hard and healthy conversations when the moment calls. Real conversations, when we recognize there’s an opportunity for us all to learn and grow. Whatever issue arises is never about one person, so it’s powerful learning for our collective group. These are conversations where you find yourself leaning in, pausing, actually learning about the people in front of you, an opportunity to really see each other.

‍

For me, this moment can be like a physical jolt of awareness when the dialogue or feedback hits the mark, and it’s clear both of us are tuned in and listening with our hearts. The phrase, “I see you,” gets tossed around a lot, but this type of moment is more profound. For me, it’s when I feel truly understood, a little naked and known all at the same time.

Most women actually prefer having these kinds of real conversations and being with other women who dare to do the same. If life is about being fully present, deeply aware and steeped in vibrant growth, then these kinds of friendships are essential.  

‍

Over a decade ago, I had the opportunity to cultivate a radically supportive group of friends through a conscious leadership practice. There, I had permission to stretch into myself by questioning, challenging, and sometimes even rejecting ideas and dreams I’d held tightly. Without this practice, I’m not sure I would have seen the ways I choose to take responsibility. For example, learning that I am just as responsible for screwing up our children as my husband is. He’s only so powerful. Or, sometimes, when I’m feeling insecure I talk too much to compensate. Not easy pills to swallow, but profound learning for me.

‍

After years of practicing this orientation with like-minded women, my life and relationships have transformed, which ultimately inspired the launch of Modern Revival, a space where women dare to connect authentically with themselves and others.

‍

Baring your authentic self in the “wrong” moment can be frowned upon. It’s often easier and more “productive” (and less uncomfortable) to simply say the polite thing, not challenge an idea, be too curious, but rather just go along to get along. This results in us digressing back to unreal, unauthentic conversations - that leave us yearning for the connection we most want.

‍

I get it, it’s sweaty to speak up and risk the uncomfortable feelings that follow a reflection of honest feedback. We were taught that being the cheerleader for our friends is the best way to avoid our discomfort, but it also prevents us from learning. My friends and I literally played with delivering tough feedback: it’s awkward and clunky, but effective and hysterical. I actually appreciate and laugh out loud when I’m reminded of how just not that serious my champagne problems might appear. Other people might hear judgment—I hear love. Everything in my life has become richer and more vibrant since committing to this way of relating.

‍

I want these kinds of friendships for every woman.

‍

Modern Revival is founded on reclaiming what real connection to ourselves and others looks like. There’s something uniquely powerful about doing the work to grow yourself in the presence of other people. Modern Revival takes you on a ride, an experience that you might be terrified of—being fully known, fully revealed—but that you are also deeply desiring.

‍