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November is here, and with it comes the familiar conversation about gratitude.

We're encouraged to appreciate our families, friendships, health, homes, and the people who support us. But I've been thinking about someone we tend to leave out of those conversations.

Ourselves.

When was the last time you gave yourself credit for a difficult decision, a personal accomplishment, or the way you showed up for a friend?

For many of us, it's easier to name five qualities we admire in a friend than five qualities we appreciate about ourselves.

This November, I want to challenge you to approach gratitude differently. Keep appreciating the people around you, but take time to recognize your own growth, strengths, goals, and relationships.

Here are four ways to start today.

1. Give Yourself Some Credit

When a friend accomplishes a goal she's worked hard for, what's your first instinct? You celebrate her. You recognize her effort and remind her how proud she should be.

Now think about how you respond to your own accomplishments.

Do you celebrate, or do you immediately start planning your next goal?

Between work deadlines, family responsibilities, and everyday commitments, we can overlook the progress we've made.

Try this today: Open the Notes app on your phone and write down three decisions or accomplishments you're proud of from this year.

Maybe you negotiated a raise, established a boundary with a family member, navigated a career change, or made time for a friendship during a busy season.

Then ask yourself: What did I do to make that possible?

Identify the decisions, effort, and personal strengths behind each accomplishment.

Keep your list somewhere you can revisit when you're questioning your progress.

2. Recognize What Makes You Unique

I think we're sometimes the last people to recognize our own strengths.

The skills and qualities that come naturally to us can seem ordinary because we use them every day.

Maybe you're the friend who introduces people and makes everyone feel included. Maybe you're skilled at solving problems, organizing gatherings, or helping others navigate difficult conversations.

We don't always recognize these abilities as strengths because they're simply part of how we operate.

Try this today: Ask two people who know you well:

What's one strength you see in me that I might overlook? Can you give me an example of when you've seen me use it?

Their examples can help you recognize how your strengths influence your relationships, career, and community.

Then return the favor. Tell a friend which quality you admire most about her and share an example of when you've seen it.

3. Ask Yourself What You Actually Want

Here's a question I wish more women asked themselves regularly:

What do I want?

Not what would make your family happy. Not what your friends expect. Not what looks impressive on paper.

What do you want for your life?

Between careers, relationships, caregiving, and family responsibilities, personal goals can gradually move to the bottom of our priorities.

And when we spend years making decisions around other people's needs, identifying our own ambitions can become difficult.

You don't need a five-year plan to begin.

Try this today: Set a timer for ten minutes and answer these three questions:

• Which hobby, interest, or activity have I wanted to explore but haven't prioritized?
• How would I spend one afternoon each week if I had no obligations?
• Which personal goal would I regret never pursuing?

Write your answers without worrying about cost, timing, or other people's opinions.

Then choose one goal and identify a step you can take within the next seven days.

Interested in learning a language? Research local classes. Want to spend more time painting? Schedule an hour to work on a canvas. Hoping to travel with friends? Suggest a destination and start discussing dates.

Progress begins when we give our own priorities space on the calendar.

4. Invest in the Relationships That Matter

Gratitude also means recognizing the people who support us, challenge us, and bring joy into our lives.

But maintaining friendships requires intention, especially as careers, families, and responsibilities compete for our attention.

We postpone phone calls, reschedule dinners, and promise to reconnect when our calendars become less crowded.

What if we stopped waiting?

Try this today: Think of a friend you haven't spoken with in the past month.

Send her a message and tell her why you appreciate her. Mention a memory you share, a time she supported you, or a quality you admire.

Then make a plan to reconnect. Schedule a phone call, invite her for coffee, or organize dinner.

When you get together, move past the usual updates about work and family.

Ask each other:

• What's been bringing you joy lately?
• Which accomplishment are you most proud of this year?
• What are you hoping to make more time for next year?

Give each other the opportunity to share your goals, celebrate your progress, and discuss the challenges you're navigating.

Put Yourself on Your Gratitude List

This November, I hope you'll recognize the decisions you're proud of, appreciate the strengths you bring to your relationships, and make time for the goals you've been postponing.

That's the inspiration behind Thankful Thursdays, our November series inside the Modern Revival app.

Every Thursday, we're sharing a free gift and a reflection question to help you explore these topics. Our Thankful Thursdays Clubhouse gives you a place to exchange perspectives, celebrate progress, and connect with other women.

Our community is free to join, and I'd love to see you there!

• Download on the App Store (iPhone)
• Download on Google Play (Android)

Before November ends, I encourage you to write down three reasons you're grateful for the woman you've become.

And when you finish, share one with a friend.